I fell into a bad mood for a day, but went through the motions of taking care of myself - writing, going to the river, completing tasks, reaching out for conversation, and seeing friends. In the moment it felt impossible, like this is going to be the rest of my life, but really I knew that wasn't true at all - I've been through this enough times to realize, all that good stuff still exists just around the corner.

Sometimes you can think yourself through a stressful situation, but most often the only way to independently make progress is by writing about it. At least for me, my memory is too short and my mental self-control too limited to escape reiterating ideas and emotions. With a journal, thoughts can be built upon, teased apart, and examined in detail. Creating bubble diagrams, lists, and images further help me in this process in trying to reason with myself, bringing my mind out of an emotionally irrational place into a one that sees the situation objectively. It opens the window to discovering solutions, finding empathy, and knowing how to proceed onward constructively. Try it out next time you find yourself in a tizzy.

In feeling a deep amount of stress, I had to remind myself this morning that the future is unknown. What a person thinks or what their actions will be, it's unknown. How I will feel if I attend a party or go try something new, it's unknown. Humans have a knack for considering the worst possible outcome of a situation, but that leads us to ignore all the other possible outcomes.

I am no fortune teller,
my future is wide open.

A week ago I decided to start writing a daily affirmation for myself, but I want to share them with everyone as well. Affirmations only work if you actually believe in them, so don't force yourself! These are simply things I want to remember and bring more closely to my own life.

Much of my life has been spent unable to share love with others. While my anger and frustrations about human civilization fueled me well enough, those feelings could not sustain the goals I wanted to accomplish. Love is powerful, but also tricky. It can require a lot of self-work and vulnerability to give and receive in a wholesome way. To share love requires compatibility. To be love requires a special sort of journey that I can only feel deep appreciation for those who have gone to traverse. I don't know how some people do it, but I do know that love feels great and I can act in ways that will increase my capacity to love and be loved.