I ended last night feeling sorta depressed about life, and I knew exactly the reason why - but that one reason became a series of negative thoughts digging me deeper into a place I certainly do not want to be. Today's goal is to not think about it too much and work on righting the problem. Thinking about it more would only bury me in a negative mind state, so staying out of those thoughts and taking action is the better way forward. Step one step two step three here we go.

Community is the cornerstone of good mental health - it is a safety net that will catch you if you are willing to take the effort to create connections in your social sphere. Of course, it's not always an easy task. It requires a devotion to particular communities and friends and showing up for them in a meaningful way. 2019 has been a bit up and down for me, and in those dark places I really don't know how to forge on until my community comes through - I contact people to spend time with, or better yet people randomly reach out to me, or someone puts on an exciting event and thinks to invite me. I've been so grateful for the many times thinking, "oh well I guess I'll just stay in for another night" and then a connection I've fostered comes through. There have been times that I've lost communities, or have been in situations where there was no one I could trust, so having this level of support now feels quite amazing - it did take a lot of work though, and I know will continue to require regular intention to build lasting bonds.

This morning I woke up feeling a bit depressed, even though yesterday was a pretty great day - so I asked myself as I do, what have I been lacking? And well there are a few things, but most notably I haven't been out to nature in several days because of being busy and the rain. While living in the city it is easy for me to forget how important spending regular time with plants is. It's like being hugged by someone you love very much. Any nature will do, but I find the best is when there are no signs of humans - no trash, roads, electronics, car sounds, or other people. Just you. Especially powerful is nature that has been untouched by humans for at least a century, if not many hundreds of years. There is something special about being surrounded by very old friends.

For a long time I have had trouble overindulging in food. There are many foods I am sensitive to, and I don't really know when I am full unless my stomach hurts. Especially when combined with alcohol, I tend to lack self-control, so end up feeling uncomfortable or have poor sleep. This started in large part from a "waste no food" mindset but also stems from stress. While likely much different than my own dilemmas, it is interesting to me that most people celebrate by doing harmful things to their bodies. I want to create a culture that celebrates with nourishing each other.

Stress is not necessarily a bad thing, and can always act as an avenue for growth and positive direction. I'm waking up this morning feeling some stress, but know I can use it to move faster and try harder.

*****
WIZARD SCHOOL is based on the human ability to transform reality moment to moment through words, movements, feelings, and thoughts. Each of us holds the power to consciously or unconsciously construct the world around us, we simply need to remember to use that fundamental skill to our advantage.

I fell into a bad mood for a day, but went through the motions of taking care of myself - writing, going to the river, completing tasks, reaching out for conversation, and seeing friends. In the moment it felt impossible, like this is going to be the rest of my life, but really I knew that wasn't true at all - I've been through this enough times to realize, all that good stuff still exists just around the corner.

Sometimes you can think yourself through a stressful situation, but most often the only way to independently make progress is by writing about it. At least for me, my memory is too short and my mental self-control too limited to escape reiterating ideas and emotions. With a journal, thoughts can be built upon, teased apart, and examined in detail. Creating bubble diagrams, lists, and images further help me in this process in trying to reason with myself, bringing my mind out of an emotionally irrational place into a one that sees the situation objectively. It opens the window to discovering solutions, finding empathy, and knowing how to proceed onward constructively. Try it out next time you find yourself in a tizzy.

Sometimes I have a goal of throwing people into existential dilemmas. Remember that everything that you know is based on an assumption~